Jayleen

     I received a phone call today from a lady who said she was going through Jayleen’s possessions when she found my number, and thought she would let me know how much our friendship meant to Jayleen. My initial reaction was, “What’s this lady doing going through Jayleen’s stuff?” Then I realized that she was saying that Jayleen is dead.
     Jayleen died April 5^th, three weeks ago. She had battled fibromyalgia as long as I can remember. She started receiving massive doses of cortisone into her joints a couple years ago. Just after I left in September she was diagnosed with multiple myeloma. We skyped a couple times. With her cat Jezebel on her lap and all her troll days surrounding her, Jayleen looked tired and bloated.. Her friend Karen let me know she had been admitted to hospice, and her mother and sister-in-law had visited. Karen said she would gain strength and appear ready to go home, then slip backwards again. According to the woman on the phone, her kidneys failed.
     I’m still reeling. I should have kept in touch better. I bought a beautiful card for her at the arts celebration this weekend. Too late. I am so glad we had the time last fall. We hadn’t seen each other in nine years, and the three weeks together were wonderful. I have survivor’s guilt. I am nine years older than Jayleen. Why Jayleen? 
      

     I’m trying to bask in the memory of the fun we had enjoying giant ice cream cones at Slugs and Stones at Brookings Harbor, and the stuffed shrimp at The Nautical Inn, the long walks on the beach, picking blackberries, crashing the wealthy developer’s house on the beach, the whale spotting, and watching the seals playing in the harbor. In retrospect, I don't know what I would have differently had I known time was so short. I guess that’s some comfort.  Good bye, my friend.      .