After
six months of being lazy, I am working again. In exchange for 24 hours a week
of my time, my site and utilities are free. I don’t have a job description; I
just do what needs to be done. I have done some gardening, cleaned bathrooms,
vacuumed the clubhouse, helped make fudge, scrubbed picnic tables, washed down
site signs, picked up cigarette butts and dog poop, removed a shelf from a wall
and spackled the damage, scrubbed the mold off the ice machine, cleaned bugs
out of light fixtures, and a variety of other chores. The construction and
painting tasks (and fudge making) I do with Rose, a 72-year old elfin woman who
has sign-making and construction expertise. A camper sought me out to shake my
hand and tell me we keep things “rait nice ‘round here.” That’s my new goal—keeping
things “rait nice.”
I gave myself a birthday present; my first
massage. I was very nervous. I am not a touchy-feely person, and I worried that
I might recoil in discomfort. The experience was amazing. I expected a physical
benefit, but was unprepared for the mental effect. Mary worked out the stress
and tensions of my life as she unknotted my muscles, and I felt all the
negativity in my life drain away.
It has come to my attention that the
majority of Floridians are not into health foods, as I have not found a health
food store since Ohio. So I ordered amaranth, brown rice, flaxseed, Red Zinger
Tea and Good Earth Tea from Soap.com. It’s nice to have amaranth for breakfast
again. My boss, Roberta, loaned me her car for a trip to WalMart, so I’m, set for
supplies for the next month
Gracie has been having separation anxiety
whenever I leave her for even a moment; I have to tie her to the outside of the
shower room door or she barks and tries to crawl out the window of the Goose. And
she still has PTSD from the pitbull attack whenever she sees a large dog. So I
ordered ultra-calm pills from the Fosters and Smith website. The directions
were one pill for each 50 pounds. Gracie weighs 102, so I gave her two Saturday.
She was so stoned she couldn’t walk straight and her eyes wouldn’t focus in the
same direction. I was waiting for the munchies to kick in. Sunday I tried just
one pill, and she was much better. We were walking to the produce stand and she
kept sitting down and just looking around, but when I reminded her we needed to
be walking she was happy to oblige. I think I will save the pills for when I
really need to leave her alone. The pills are just herbs, but they really
affect her.
I’m reading Drop Dead Healthy by A.J.
Jacobs (a birthday gift on my Kindle from Lee), Daniel Pink’s book on
motivation, and A Deep Breath of Life by Alan Cohen (a daily two-page
meditation). Gracie and I walk to the beach every morning and sit on the sand sharing
day-old biscotti from the bakery while I sip coffee and read. If the dolphins
are out I get distracted, but most of the time I read a chapter or two. We’re
back in the park by 9:00 and I go to work, usually cleaning the bathrooms post
shower and then to whatever chore I have chosen for the day. Today I painted
two picnic tables--different colors for each slat.
Daytime highs are in the 80’s, sometimes
close to 90, but most every day we have such a nice breeze off the water I
seldom have to run the air conditioner in the Goose. Life is pleasant and
easy.
I
received a phone call today from a lady who said she was going through
Jayleen’s possessions when she found my number, and thought she would let me
know how much our friendship meant to Jayleen. My initial reaction was, “What’s
this lady doing going through Jayleen’s stuff?” Then I realized that she was
saying that Jayleen is dead.
Jayleen died April 5th, three
weeks ago. She had battled fibromyalgia as long as I can remember. She started
receiving massive doses of cortisone into her joints a couple years ago. Just
after I left in September she was diagnosed with multiple myeloma. We skyped a
couple times. With her cat Jezebel on her lap and all her troll days
surrounding her, Jayleen looked tired and bloated.. Her friend Karen let me
know she had been admitted to hospice, and her mother and sister-in-law had
visited. Karen said she would gain strength and appear ready to go home, then
slip backwards again. According to the woman on the phone, her kidneys failed.
I’m still reeling. I should have kept in
touch better. I bought a beautiful card for her at the arts celebration this
weekend. Too late. I am so glad we had the time last fall. We hadn’t seen each
other in nine years, and the three weeks together were wonderful. I have
survivor’s guilt. I am nine years older than Jayleen. Why Jayleen?
I’m trying to bask in the memory of the fun
we had enjoying giant ice cream cones at Slugs and Stones at Brookings Harbor,
and the stuffed shrimp at The Nautical Inn, the long walks on the beach,
picking blackberries, crashing the wealthy developer’s house on the beach, the
whale spotting, and watching the seals playing in the harbor. In retrospect, I
don't know what I would have differently had I known time was so short. I guess
that’s some comfort. Good bye, my friend. .
