Letting the Universe Do Its Thing

     This “not working for a living” is new to me. I had my first real job at 15, working for a veterinarian ($1.16 an hour), and have worked steadily since. I have never taken a vacation as an adult. (There was a trip to Niagara Falls with my first in-laws. There are many names I could have given that trip, but “vacation” would not be one of them.) 
     For the last 40 years I suppressed my interests because I was too tired, broke, or guilty because I should be studying or investing time in my children or partner. Now I have leisure and means to do whatever I want, if only I could figure out what that might be.    
     I discovered I like movies. I haven’t watched movies regularly in decades, so they are all new to me. I bought a few at a swap meet in Ohio for a couple dollars each and added a few every WalMart bargain bin I walked past. I have been watching Jack Nicholson’s hair line recede, and George Clooney’s go gray. 
     I have always loved to read, and I indulge that passion with my Kindle. I like biographies and true stories. Dick Cheney’s “In My Time” was interesting. I just finished Dianne Keaton’s “Then Again.” It was very good. Tina Fey’s “Bossy Pants” was good. Ellen DeGeneres “Seriously . . .I’m Kidding” was disappointing. Mitch Albom’s “Have a Little Faith” was so good and well-written I cried and laughed aloud. I just downloaded “We Bought a Zoo.”
     Music is back in my life. My sister (I decided to drop the “in-law” ) Julie showed me how to download tunes and burn my own CDs. My tastes are really eclectic, from “Born to be Wild” by Steppenwolf to Kid Rock’s “Born Free” to “This Land Is Your Land” by Sharon Jones and the Dapp Kings. No sappy love songs in all I’ve downloaded, all freedom and fun.
    I do Sudoku puzzles while I watch television to help keep my brain sharp. That’s my excuse, anyway. .   .  
    It amuses me that I establish rituals, no matter where we are. In Ohio Gracie and I walked to the mini-mart every morning for lottery tickets. Here I take a cup of coffee to the park across the street every morning and Gracie and I watch the waves in the lagoon.
    I’m still convincing myself I don’t have to be “doing” anything, I don’t have to have every minute of every day planned and packed full. In her book “Living Without Reservations,”  (which, incidentally, planted the seed for this journey) Barbara Singer says it’s about slowing down enough to let the universe do its thing. I’m still learning to do that.